299 – Niet afvallen is geen MAALTIJD maar een MINDSET probleem

Transcript

De hele aflevering om te lezen

Afvallen is een mindset probleem, geen dieet probleem

Recently I wrote somewhere that when you arrive, or when you don't leave, it's not a meal, but a mindset problem. And I believe that's always the case with constant change. Of course, it's also about what you put in your mouth, and when it comes to changing other things, what you do. But those actions come about because of what you think. And if you don't change both, then the idea of a diet is that you eat differently, but you still think the same, you still believe the same things, you still think the same about eating or losing weight and what you can or can't do, then you will eventually fall back.

This is an example of losing weight, but it's about all things. If you want more success in your own business, then the question is, why don't you do some things that you know might be successful? That's often a mindset problem. If you want more balance between work and private life, idem. Why don't you make that time free? What does that mean? Why are you always inclined to work harder, to do more? What's behind that? You know, that's actually the question. Looking at that makes a big difference.

Mieke Koster stelt zichzelf en de podcast voor

So that's what I want to talk about today, about the mindset that helps you to keep changing. And that's a growth mindset. That's what this podcast is about.

My name is Mieke Kosters. In this podcast, I discuss the secrets of people who take control. The secret of skinny people.

Twee live trainingen over afvallen en gedachten

Ik doe dat in de podcast, ik doe dat ook in training. Ik doe nu twee live trainingen. Dat is afvallen zonder dieet. Het gaat echt over de basis van afvallen zonder dieet. Hoe werkt dat? Welk actieplan heb je nodig? Waar moet je aan denken? Hoe ontwikkel je een basis eetpatroon? Waarom zijn die dagelijkse regie acties zo belangrijk? Hoe kun je het beter volhouden? Et cetera, et cetera.

En de tweede training gaat over grip krijgen op je eigen gedachten, op je eigen emoties en natuurlijk op je eigen gedrag. Hoe kun je kiezen wat je echt doet en wat je eet, ondanks alles wat je denkt en voelt? Daar gaat deze training over.

Aankondiging van veranderingen bij de podcast

Those are two trainings, but a lot is going to change in the near future. I'll tell you more about that soon.

There's also going to be a change with the podcast. There's a new starting product coming out. And, well, it's all about that. But more about that.

If you think you want to stay up to date, go to the website and sign up for my newsletter. I'll keep you up to date there. But I'll be back in the podcast as well. But before we get that far, it'll take a little while.

Introductie van de groeimindset theorie

Now we're going to start with this week's podcast about the growth mindset. I've talked about it before, I think, but I also give a masterclass on growth mindset in my programs. That's a breakthrough for a lot of people. It's a real eye-opener.

Ontdekking van de theorie op een schoolavond

And how do I get here? That's a theory. The growth mindset is a theory by Carol Dweck. And that says a lot about how you look at yourself. And that has a huge impact on your success. In everything you want to change, as I said. Whether that's going to fall off, your career, relationships, etc. Your way of thinking ultimately determines what you achieve.

Well, that's what I want to talk about. And how do I get here? That's because a few years ago, because my children were still in primary school. Then there was an information evening at that school. And there was a speaker who was going to talk about the theory of the growth mindset by Carol Dweck. Carol Dweck is an American psychologist. She's a professor at Stanford University. And she developed this theory. She also wrote a book about it. It's called Mindset, the new psychology of success.

Verschil tussen fixed en growth mindset

She says there are two kinds of mindsets you can have. A fixed and a growth mindset. She says people with a fixed mindset believe that their talents and intelligence are fixed. So, properties and talents are fixed, while people with a growth mindset are convinced that you can develop properties and qualities through effort, through learning, through perseverance.

She came here because she did research on how people deal with failures and mistakes. She said, and it was mainly in a school environment, and she said that some children take on challenges with enthusiasm, and want to try everything and do new things. And they see failure or making mistakes when things don't go well as a chance to learn further. While other children were so discouraged when things didn't go well and when things went wrong.

And she said, well, that's where she came in and that's what she made a theory about. And it started mainly with intelligence. So she said, some people see intelligence as fixed, while others believe that they can grow through learning and practicing.

Michael Jordan als voorbeeld van doorzetten

One of the examples she uses in her book is Michael Jordan. Because in his youth, I don't know if you know who he is, he's a very famous basketball player in America. In his youth, he was rejected by the school basketball team. And instead of giving up and thinking, I'm not good enough for this, he went to intensive training every day to get better. And his coach had told him that he had to work harder than others in order to become the best. And that's what he chose, that's what he did. And that's an example of how perseverance and that growth mindset, that determined to do what is necessary, to learn what is necessary to achieve success, that works.

Signalen: omgaan met feedback, fouten en uitdagingen

You can also look at it in other ways. If you want to think for yourself, if you have a growth mindset, a fixed mindset, for example, then you have to look at how you deal with feedback, negative feedback. Someone with a growth mindset can often put it down to themselves and not see it as a personal attack, but as an opportunity. What do they mean exactly? What is the core of truth? What can I do with this? And that may not be your first primary reaction, but that's ultimately how you deal with feedback.

Another symptom, where you can see it, is of course how you deal with mistakes. So how do you react when something doesn't go the way you want, or the way you expect, or what fits your goal? How do you deal with that? Do you just let it go? Do you sit down and think it's terrible, and you're ashamed and embarrassed and discouraged? Or do you think failure is essential to success? And you just carry on. You pick it up and carry on.

The same goes for trying new things, taking on new challenges. That's a nice sign. So if you're someone who just tries new things, you see what's happening, but you take it on, because the worst thing that can happen is that you can learn something. That's a completely different approach than thinking, well, I'll at least try it, because I can't do it.

So those are things that you can think about for yourself. How do I deal with this? How do I feel about this? Because it says something about how you feel about it, whether you have a more growth mindset or a fixed mindset.

Mieke herkent haar eigen fixed mindset

Well, this whole theory was explained to me that evening at school. It was mainly about how children learn in class. I was there and I heard it, and I thought, wait a minute, I can really see this when it comes down to it. I do believe that I have a fairly growth mindset, but when it comes down to it, I can see... I mean, I've changed, but I used to have a 100% fixed mindset. And I wasn't the only one.

I was there and I thought, I see this in my practice every day. In my training, in my programmes, the coaching, the conversations I have with people, the emails I get from people. It's almost all fixed mindset.

And when I talk about it with people or ask questions about it, a lot of people say that they have a fairly growth mindset. And that's possible in other areas. But in terms of dropping out, a lot of people have a fixed mindset. That's almost become normal.

Dropping out is a project with a head and a tail. You do it for a while and then you lose weight and then it's over again. And you can fail in it, or you're successful. And that's just an example of a fixed mindset.

Because if you think in a growth mindset and drop out, then you don't think in a... Then that's not a project with a head or a tail. Then you're willing to let go of that time aspect. Because it's about the process. It's about you taking control again and again when it's necessary. And that you can learn that if you keep practicing, if you stand up for it, if you fail, if you make mistakes. And if you think, how does this work for me? What's at stake here and what can I do about it? Because that's what it's all about.

So a growth mindset is essential for me to keep changing in general. And absolutely when it comes to dropping out.

Look, I don't believe it's specifically very difficult to drop out, by the way, to get that growth mindset. I believe it's specifically difficult to change in things that you find difficult. So that you do get involved with mistakes and difficult situations and doubts. And you know, where you're often confronted with. Of course, that comes up again very quickly.

Herkenbare excuses met een fixed mindset rond afvallen

Well, I used to believe that being slim was a matter of being lucky or not. I was unlucky and slim people were lucky. I also thought that weight was very important. Everyone in my family was a bit heavier, so yes, I couldn't do anything about that either. I really believed that being slim wasn't really in it for me.

Well, if I add this theory, those are all really perfect examples of that fixed mindset that I had.

Well, a few more examples that I often hear in my practice. I'm a begonias type or a nice guy. I love to eat too much. I just can't control myself with chocolate. It's all in the family at some point. I have heavy bones. It's my age. I always fall back, so it doesn't really matter anymore. Why would I continue now? I give up in the end.

Uitdaging: zijn deze overtuigingen wel waar?

Well, my challenge for you is to think about what if all these things just aren't true? What if you're not someone who has trouble stopping eating? What if you're not someone who's a begonias type now? But w